Upon Going to a Strip Club

After I went to the movies last night, on the way home, I went to a strip club. It was only the second time in my life I've been to one. It left me conflicted...and I thought I'd explore the thoughts in my brain...or on this journal as it were.

One of my colleagues thinks that guys that go to strip clubs are sexist bastards. She thinks very badly of strip clubs in general. But I don't know. My mother was a stripper. From what I understand she was a very good stripper and quite famous in Tokyo when she danced there. When my mom tells me about her time there, she speaks of it with pride. She talks about creating art...of dancing. I respect my mom a lot. I think she kicks ass. I can't dismiss strippers and strip joints...it seems like that would be dissing my mom. If my mom could dance and not feel objectified, if she could feel that she was doing something artistic, then I feel like I should respect that...or think it could be a possibility. My mom seemed to be happy as a dancer. She did say that she thought that things changed...that it got more difficult for dancers...but that seemed to be creepy owners exploiting the dancers as more women were willing to dance.

So last night I was driving home and I saw a sign for a gentleman's club that was on the way to my house. So I went. It was a "gentleman's club." I think that just means that the women get paid more (I hope!) and the cover is more. It was an interesting experience. Why did I go? Hm...I don't know. Maybe I was curious. Maybe I wanted to be in a place where no one knew me as trans. Maybe I miss being around women. Maybe I wanted to see if they were good and interesting dancers.

Anyway. This place, unlike the place I had been before had full nudity. That was a bit of a surprise. Generally, the women at the other place I was at were better dancers. Some of the women were good, some were just okay. The place was sort of empty...I wonder if that had an effect? The women were generally very nice and while they were dancing, I found myself focusing on their faces or their entire body as a form, rather than just their genitals. Sometimes the dancer would be really funny and cool and it would make me smile.

I decided to pay for a lap dance. That was a real trip...I've never really experienced anything like that before. The dancer was cool. She'd gotten a degree in business. I told her about my mom, and she thought my mom must have been very cool. We chatted a bit, which was cool. In the end she said that my mom raised a perfect gentleman and I thanked her. The experience was very nice....except...there were these guys there...and they would refer to the women as "whores" and "pussy." These other guys called the place a "titty bar." They would make rude comments while the women were dancing. They wouldn't tip them when the dance was over, they wouldn't applaud. It was creepy.

I'd been to a lesbian event where there were strippers once. Everyone was really cool...and it didn't seem creepy at all. I'm thinking that strip clubs could be fine if one respects the dancers and recognized that they are doing a job that is not easy. Of course, I don't know if I'll be going back to one...they are awfully expensive...and I'm just a poor grad student.

I took a chuck out of my heel the other day. That hurt, but it's healing up.